Family - Sticking Together No Matter What

It's hard to define family nowadays. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and situations. When I was growing up most families were about the same. Nuclear, mom and dad, kids, the dog. Once my friend's parents separated for a summer and then got back together. It was very exciting and romantic. All the makings of a soap opera but with a happy ending.

When my youngest was in grammar school, a cute little boy in her class had a less romantic story. Her father had murdered his mother and was now in prison. The little guy lived with his grandparents.

With all that can and does happen, it makes sense to find out about your relationship's family before making any commitments. But hardly anyone does. Love is supposed to "take care of things". We don't want to be suspicious because it makes us seem petty and small. Plus, what can happen?

Turns out, plenty. In the case of my daughter's boyfriend, a real doozy. Zach is still here with us and may be for another month. For now we are court appointed guardians in charge of daily baby care, his preemie appointments, and taking Elizabeth back and forth so she can see him. Our dog Trixie pictured above is brings Zach's pacifier when he cries.

Why do we do this? We are a family. We do not give lip service about how family oriented we are and then back off when things get tough. Plenty of people do this. I call them fake families. They look real on the outside but inside resemble stage sets made out of plywood. Many families, even good Christian Catholic ones turn their backs on daughters who made bad choices with men. But would Jesus?

Bad people can enter our lives through many means. Evil is a relentless stalker and we have no immunity. Some people believe that if we are good, God is somehow obligated to give us a happy and prosperous life, safe from evil. What malarkey!

If evil is destined to touch us somehow what can we do as a family? The glue that binds a real family is love. Love for each other in the love God has shown to us. It is a privilege, not a chore to give to each other. Forgive, wipe the slate clean regularly, and circle the wagons around those in danger. If we love, truly love someone, we participate in their destinies. Wherever that may take us.

There are not as many verses in the Bible about happy family making as one would imagine. Most of them deal with honoring and obedience. Jesus gives the example for us to love through sacrifice. We can learn and be inspired about real love from Him.

Love never fails...

Postpartum Depression

It’s been a rough month. A few weeks ago we took Zach home with us and he has remained these last three, going on four weeks.  We didn’t know what to think. My daughter had her on-again off-again boyfriend move in with her when he showed up for the birth. She honestly thought it was the right thing to do. Idealism at its most deceptive.

We were against it. If he wants to live with her he can marry her, we figured. Not that we wanted that, if we were honest with ourselves. He was not someone we want in our family despite his being our grandchild’s father. My parents were not so hot on a marriage either when they met him. The guy gives off a bad vibe.

On the one hand we are devout Catholics, believe in family, and especially believe in the sanctity of human life. Zach is such a blessing. We also know this guy is no good. And he has spent the last six weeks proving how “no-good” he is.  Things culminated when he threatened to kidnap Zach. We got him that night and a few days later a judge ordered him to stay with us until this matter is resolved.

Now something is off with my daughter. At first she missed him and came down on her days off work to be with him. Now she doesn’t seem to want to see him. She told me she is too busy to come up this week. A whole week! We know something is wrong. Really, really wrong.  

I spoke to some of my CNA pals at work. They have been along for the whole ride from pre-eclampsia, preemie birth, to here. They believe my daughter has post-partum depression. Of course, why didn’t I think of that! Who wouldn’t be depressed after all she has gone through?

Now we just need to get her some help. I know it won’t be easy but we will persevere. Things are still unresolved with the boyfriend which is a bummer. But at least we know where to turn.

"charity beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7).

A Preemie Post

Goodness, it feels like I have been gone for such a long time! But it has been pretty busy around here. Early in March, my daughter was admitted to the hospital for preeclampsia and had an emergency c-section on the 16th. We welcomed Zach, our 2 lbs. 13 oz. grandson who was briefly shown to my daughter before being whisked away to NICU.

They injected her with steroids beforehand which helped with his lung development. He never needed special breathing aids. The tube in his nose is for breastmilk to go directly to his tummy. Mostly he had the occasional apnea, (scary!) a touch of jaundice, and learning how to suck and breath at the same time.

Here is me holding Zach with Elizabeth standing by me. The thing stuck to his head measures for jaundice, in case it comes back.

Today he is going home at last. We have seen blessings and God's love everywhere from Zach's amazing condition for his tiny size, to the wonderful NICU staff, to my daughter's love for her new son. What an exhausting, amazing journey it was.

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
and the glory of children is their fathers.

Prov. 17:6

I'm Going to Be a Grandma!!

Of course we don't know if it is a boy or a girl yet! I'm so excited!! My first grandchild will make his or her appearance next spring. My daughter is happy but feeling sick and tired. She and Sean will be coming over today for dinner and a happy discussion about the future. I can't wait to see them!

Many things have changed since having my babies and I am all over the internet trying to find out the latest in nutrition and other health related concerns. When I was having mine, they were just figuring out that drinking alcohol and smoking were bad for the baby. Not that I did either one! It just shows how far things have come since those times. I found a used copy of Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy on Amazon for a couple dollars and sent it directly to my daughter.

I am so thankful to the Lord for His gift of family. I talked to them more yesterday than in the past month! The phone was ringing off the hook and facebook was plastered with congratulations. God is doing great things in our lives!

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward."Psalm 127:3